Making the Internet rounds as of late is Steve Martin's "leaked" tour rider, a three-page manifesto of diva demands that paint the singer in a new light -- if only they were true.
The document itself is much more in the vein of the Onion as opposed to the Smoking Gun. As far as food goes, a buffet table with must contain iceberg lettuce, and said iceberg must be from Scandanavia, Canada or Russia Arctic. Anything Antarctic won't do.
A thoughtful assortment of mead and bendy straws is also desired, where the bendy straws are "strong enough to be used as a blowgun."
In case Martin isn't feeling it that particular night, the venue must have banjo whiz Bela Fleck on speed dial.
Staffers must also be on hand to purchase items that Martin might need if he has to abandon a 'World of Warcraft' game for showtime. Hard drugs are also desired -- by hard drugs, he's referring to Advil.
An important part of any show is getting the sound just right, and Martin also seems to have an idea on how to achieve the best possible sound at every venue.
"Instruments must be tuned by a wiry, sarcastic guy named Shorty, Lou or Lightnin'," the rider says.
As far as getting ready goes, Martin needs to have guyliner on hand and a recent article from Allure magazine that details how to get a "smoky eye."
Also, the only scratchy or constricting thing in wardrobe has to be limited to Martin's thong.
Title: Steve martin demands bendy straws strong enough to be used a blowgun
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Post by 8:09 AM
Rating: 100% based on 99998 ratings. 5 user reviews.
Post by 8:09 AM
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